mypatronusisyou: people can talk shit about America all they want but at the end of the day we have Ellen DeGeneres.
neopiacentral: *sends out mating call to all soft pretzels of the world*
vaginastew: what if being sad burned calories what if
snarfalarkus: my friend dropped out of school because at lunch they stopped serving tater tots with pizza vegetables ruin lives </3
So a dog walks into the forest and he sees a whale and says “aren’t you supposed...– A joke told by the Russian exchange student that used to go to my school (via wickedpedia)
jarate: tumblr savior is a lot like the episode of arrested development where michael finds the bag in the fridge that says “dead dove do not eat!!!!!” and he opens up the bag and sees the dead dove and says “i dont know what i was expecting”
anthologydisarmed: She had a lot of love to give...