lordpayne: this was like two years ago but anyways so in this one part of my house there’s these three steps but omg they’re deadly one time i was eating cereal and i slipped and fell and passed out and my cereal got everywhere. My sister said the last thing I yelled before I passed out was “MY CEREAL!!!”
sourcechelseawoosh: in honor of 2011 i have wasted the final day of 2011 just like how i wasted every other day in 2011
friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
sutorideru-kun: Girl look at that manga Girl look at that manga Girl look at that manga I’m sugoi Girl look at that manga Girl look at that manga Girl look at that manga I’m sugoi When I walk in anime club, this is what I see Everybody stops and they nyaning at me I got kawaii in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it… show it… show it… I’m desu and I know it. I’m desu and I know it.
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
me: mom can i hang out with my friend next weekend
mom: where are you going to go
mom: what's their name
mom: where do they live
mom: how old are they
mom: are they from the internet
mom: what are their favorite colors
mom: what about hobbies
mom: what about pet names
mom: do you have a boyfriend
mom: are you lying to me
mom: what ethnic group are they
saddepressedteen: Scene Jesus turns water into FourLoko.
paranoia: lol everyone thinks you're boring and ugly haha someones talking about you right now omg your friends don't even like you that much they just pretend because they don't wanna sound mean but really you bore them and are so awkward no one can even bare to talk to you and everyone thinks you're weird because you actually are haha you're gonna die alone.
clientsfromhell: Client: We really want the design to be modern and cutting edge graphically. Big “wow-factor.” It needs to look very modern. Me: Great! Do you have any design ideas in mind, or examples of sites you like? I notice the original design has an image-slider, do - Client: We actually don’t want any images on the site at all anymore. Me: None? Client: We want the site design to look...
WHERE THE CHRISTMAS TITTIES?
Gabriel wouldn’t even get on a roller coaster to allow me to do that, man